


Pale Pair Hair Care

by Le_purple



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Grooming, Hair, Hair Brushing, Horn Stimulation, Horns, Long Hair, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21783706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_purple/pseuds/Le_purple
Summary: Grand High Blood and The Condesce brush each others hair.
Relationships: The Condesce & Grand Highblood (Homestuck), The Condesce/Grand Highblood (Homestuck)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Pale Pair Hair Care

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I get that they're both evil but...

"Aight, c'mon Kurloz I don't got all sweep!" The Condesce called, her moirail not speeding up his finger painting. "Don't you know it's rude to keep a lady waitin'!"

"Shh. Calm down sister, the entire purpose of this whole motherfucking moirail thing is to CHILL~" Kurloz replied calmly, licking his fingers before making his way over to her. She sat back but was surprised when GHB walked around her to take a seat behind her, the seadweller giving him a confused look.

"What'chu up to? I thought I was doin yours first." She asked, tilting her head back to look at her moirail.

"Nah chica. You seem like you need it first. Motherfucker if you got pale with me right now, I'd need stitches."

"Pshh!" Meenah huffed, flicking her hair back and sliding up close to him. "You's gonna start or just sit there?"

"Who knows mamacita. I could just sit here all sweep 'til your hair smothers me." GHB mused, lifting up her hair and letting it all spill onto his lap before taking one of her many golden hairbrushes and running it through her hair. Despite its comically unreasonable length, The Condesce's hair was always meticulously groomed, the ends just as silky as the roots and her long curls rarely tangled. Kurloz's hair was the exact opposite, always matted with blood and messy, and always ungroomed, well, apart from when Meenah did it.

"Mmm, that's the shit~" Meenah purred, sinking into GHB's touch and relaxing, each gentle tug sending shivers down her spine. "Ffffuck yeah..."

Hearing his moirail purr like that put a gentle smile on Kurloz's face, the purpleblood dragging the brush from scalp to tip and watching the curls bounce back. He set the brush down and rub her horns, paying extra attention to the base before tracing his claws up, not able to reach the tips of her horns. This elicited a louder purr from The Condesce, who tilted her head back, almost clonking her horns into GHB's.

"Watch it sis. You almost gave me a concision." He laughed, ducking his head but still rubbing the base of her horns. "How're you feeling now anyway? You had all sorts of mad motherfucking business locked in and building up."

"Yeah, I get it. I'm a bitch."

"Nah chica, you're just stressed." He thought for a moment. "And a bitch."

"Haha! Yeaaah~"

"So, you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I just needed some time with my moirail." She said, smiling. "Aight! C'mon babes. Someones gotta handle your mane and you shore as shell ain't gon' let any other bitch do it."

Kurloz chuckled as he moved to sit in front of Meenah, sinking down so that his moirail could reach his head.

"The hairbrush, my queen." He joked, handing her the brush.

"Psh-I think you meant Empress. But...to you it's Meenah." She took the brush, and just held it out, trying to work out the best way to start without completely destroying her moirails scalp.

"Ummm...Meenah?"

"Gimme a sec. I'm tryna figure out how to not fuckin rip out every strand of the steel wool you call hair."

"Watch it sis, I take pride in that motherfucking steel wool."

"Ok I know but-look at this! I've really got my work cut out for me, huh."

"You can handle it, Empress."

"Boi you better not be pitch flirting with me right now, you know I can't be handling another Cronus." She began to work on his hair with her fingers, separating the knots by hand.

"Chill sister, I'm just messing with you." Kurloz said, hissing a little at the pain on his scalp.

Meenah grimaced at his unpleasant hair, crumbs of dried blood falling on her lap as she parted the wiry and coarse hair. But she persisted, and was able to de-tangle the hair enough to get the brush to it, Kurloz digging his claws into his legs as he felt the hairbrush yank at his head.

"Wow," He said through gritted teeth. "I feel like it was a LOT more motherfucking relaxing when I did your hair."

"Hell yeah it was. But, I am the best fuckin moirail so imma stick with this and let that scalp of yours breathe."

"You're-NGH-so sweet to me." He said sarcastically.

After a couple of arduous minutes for the pair, the knots began to smooth out and Meenah noticed just how long his hair was, even with the tangles his mane reaching his hips. In its more manageable state, The Condesce began to focus on brushing out the dried blood and whatever-the-fuck-else was stuck in his hair. GHB sighed as the pain subsided, the feeling of the brush gliding through his curls helping him relax.

"Finally, I thought that you'd never motherfucking finish ripping all up on my scalp." Kurloz huffed, idly scratching at his face paint.

"I get that it was real painful or whatever, but like, your hair is almost as good as mine right now. Like seriously babe, this shit is looong."

"Meenah, that's because the last troll who touched my hair is writhing with the maggots at the bottom of the corpse pit."

"Wait? That bitch is still kicking? Or is this another one of your metaphors?"

"Nope! We take her out every few days to torture her for a few hours and clean her up before throwing her back into the pit."

Meenah laughed and stood up, GHB looking at her flowing hair as she retrieved her tablet and sat behind him again.

"You up for watchin my drones burn down a lowblood district while I rub your horns? All this talk of torture's got me in the mood." She asked, not even waiting for his reply and opening up the live video feed.

Kurloz rested his head on her lap as she set up the tablet in front of them, hair spilling over her legs as she angled the tablet just right so that the pair got a good view. It was a shot of a lowblood city at sunrise, burning to the ground, the drones trying to scare the lowbloods out of hiding. Meenah began idly rubbing the base of his horns, Kurloz purring loudly at the release of tension in his scalp, the pair watching the live video feed and laughing as trolls were torn apart and their lusi were stolen by bandits.


End file.
